I remember my first panic attack, more than 30 years ago. It wasn’t the jittery, restless kind most people describe. This was full-force, body-shaking—the kind that leaves you convinced something is terribly wrong. My heart raced, my chest tightened, and I thought I was having a heart attack.
And here’s the thing: I told no one.
Growing up, I was always the one who handled things. I never wanted anyone to see me as a victim, only as someone fully in control—or at least appearing that way. Admitting what was happening felt like weakness. So, I chose silence. Alone in the battle, pretending I had it under control. But inside, I was unraveling.
Anxiety—and the fear of another panic attack—affects you in ways that can leave lasting trauma. Since that first attack happened on a highway bridge, I started feeling anxiety every time I drove over one or traveled on any highway.
My doctor put me on medication. I was told to see a therapist, carry a paper bag, read Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, and journal my feelings. Did any of it help?
Therapy? Only if you find the right person—I saw four of them.
Books? Sometimes helpful, mostly forgettable.
Journaling? Brutal at first. But over time, it became an outlet.
Today, I’m not anxiety-free. I’ve just learned how to handle it the best way I can. I haven’t had another panic attack like that first one and I still have to mentally prepare myself every time I hit the highway and avoid long drives across states. Some people talk about forming a relationship with anxiety, but to me, that feels like accepting something I don’t want to accept. I am not my anxiety.
What I’ve Learned.
- Never go at it alone. Talk to a family member, a friend, or someone you trust. Just speaking the words out loud can take away some of their power.
- Educate yourself before taking on the opinions of doctors. Knowledge gives you leverage. It turns a one-sided prescription into a real conversation—one that ultimately benefits you.
- Journal honestly. Writing won’t hand you quick fixes, but it will open doors. It helps you face fears you’d rather avoid, and over time, it becomes a safe space to hear your own voice.
- Stay grounded spiritually or religiously. Grounding looks different for everyone—meditation, prayer, affirmations, breathing techniques, or creative outlets. For me, faith became an anchor on days when fear tried to sweep me away, while journaling helped me face my shadows.
- Reframe your language. Replace “I have anxiety” with “I experience anxiety, especially in certain situations.” This small shift reminds you that anxiety is something you encounter, not something you are.
- Seek mentors or guides. Whether through authors, podcasts, church, or community groups, find voices that lift you higher. The right mentors speak to your soul, challenge your doubts, and remind you, “You know what… I’ve got this.”